Review of Slimmeria, Crowhurst

Slimmeria, Crowhurst -- 5 bubbles

Slimmeria is a cross between a luxurious hotel and a boot camp. You are put on a 400-calorie-per-day raw food diet, alongside a programme of exercises including eight-mile walks and fitness classes. You can also try a range of massages and other soothing treatments. The package prices vary depending on how long you stay and whether you share a room. If you want to lose weight in peaceful and private seclusion, Slimmeria could just help you achieve your goal.

First impressions?

What's on offer?

Which treatments did you have?

What were the treatments like?

What else could you have?

Food facts

Was it worth it?

We loved

We didn't love

Who do you think would like it?

Why did you give the spa this rating?

Would you go again?

First impressions?

A sweeping drive off a tiny country lane near Battle brings you to the front of the imposing Hye House, a Georgian mansion. The house is set in a large garden with shrubs and pots at the front and a well maintained walled garden to the rear. The house is surrounded by trees but has great views over rolling fields to the downs.

What's on offer?

Slimmeria is a detox retreat which specialises in weight loss and returning its clients to bright-eyed, bushy-tailed vigour. The comfortable weight-loss retreat, maintained to a high quality by its Russian owner, Galia, feels like a cross between a five-star hotel and a boot camp.

The facilities include luxurious accommodation and welcoming common areas, including a sitting room with large TV, music and books. There is an outdoor swimming pool in the walled garden, a gym with a full-sized table-tennis table, and a chill-out solarium with comfortable loungers overlooking the patio and pool area. Beyond the garden is their own vineyard where they produce a modest amount of white wine for private consumption. (Very nice it is, too!)

Inside the spacious mosaiced hall are suits of armour! A grand staircase leads to antique-filled bedrooms with (in our case) a huge four-poster bed, large wardrobe and pretty desk, chandeliers and great views. Our bedroom had a spacious en-suite with shower. Other rooms are similarly equipped or have shared bathrooms, depending on price.

The whole basement is given over to an attractive therapy room with comfortable treatment tables and a bath area. Galia hopes to add a steam room and have a licence for colonic therapy shortly.

Galia, your smiling host, is careful but firm in her monitoring and advice. She has learned the hard way though doing every kind of detox process and diet herself. Because she's keen clients understand the process, there are organised talks on nutrition and any special dietary problems.

Which treatments did you have?

I had an aromatherapy massage (60 minutes, £50), a hot-stone massage (60 minutes, £60), a muscle-soak bath (as long as you like! £15) and a facial (60 minutes, £40).

What were the treatments like?

Bliss! They were all excellent, with really expert and kind attention from the therapists. In each case, the treatment went over its allotted time, which I always think means the therapist really cares that it works for you as an individual.

For the aromatherapy massage, I had geranium oil, which smelled wonderful. My therapist asked me how much pressure I liked and adjusted her touch to my taste.

The hot-stone massage was very vigorous, which I love. Again, the therapist asked for my wishes as to the pressure and heat desired.

The muscle-soak bath was just that -- as long as you like soaking in a hot bath with seaweed and Dead Sea mud extract (a lot nicer than it sounds). The bath left my skin feeling smooth and silky.

The facial was quite gentle, but again I could have had more pressure if I'd wanted. The facial also took in my head and shoulders in an Indian-style head massage. The oil were ayurvedic, and were both warming and refreshing.

The treatment centre was warm and attractive with soft lights and music, and the treatment tables very comfortable. The treatment tables are all in the same large underground space, but with tall screens around each table. Bathrobes and towels are provided and water offered after treatment.

What else could you have?

Slimmeria offers several packages, from £450 for a weekend to £1,300 for a week (when we visited; check for up-to-date prices and deals). You get a 400-calorie-per-day raw food (vegan) and juice diet, including water and herbal teas. In addition, there is a busy programme of exercise, including long, brisk, all-weather walks (think eight miles in pouring rain!) keep fit, yoga and dancing. I now know how to Zumba, flamenco stomp and belly dance.

There is a great range of treatments available, with practised therapists who ask all the right questions about your body before beginning. You can try a variety of massages including relaxation, honey, coconut, sports, deep-tissue, hot-stone, aromatherapy, back, leg and foot, hand, and Chinese and Indian head massage. You can also try cupping, a cedar-barrel steam, muscle-soak bath, and various facials. If you want a colonic, they will transport you to a nearby clinic for it.

For the summer, there is a decent-sized outside pool, in which they offer water aerobics. They like to do keep fit in the large garden -- weather permitting.

Food facts

The 400-calorie-a-day diet is strictly vegan with a mixture of raw, warm and hot food and juices. It was all delicious and beautifully presented and varied from porridge with raisons and cinnamon, to hot peppery soup and carrot-and-apple juice. There were even dressings within the calorie count. Also served were detox teas such as lemon and ginger. Every morning began with a hot water and lemon drink.

With much of the food being raw, the act of chewing becomes part of the meal and really makes you feel you have eaten. I wasn't actually hungry the whole time I was there.

Was it worth it?

Absolutely! I lost six pounds and regained a clear skin, clear eyes, and some joie de vivre. The package prices vary depending on how many days you stay and how luxurious the room. You can get cheaper packages if you are prepared to share rooms and bathrooms.

We loved

The kindness and the individual care that each person was afforded. There were only a handful of guests when we visited, as it was the low season (according to Galia), so we got the very best of attention, with every need anticipated and taken care of.

This was symbolised by the fact that on arrival you are offered a "comfort" blankie in a colour of your choice. My blankie never left me (or anyone else) the entire time I was there. It was useful for covering me during yoga, warming my feet, draping round my shoulders when watching television or flicking through celeb magazines on the vast, white, chill-out sofas, or simply cuddling like a friend. In fact, the blankie took me right back to the one I had as a baby and refused to abandon until it went up in smoke in a fire in my parents' house. I think I was then 40.

We didn't love

The eight-mile yomp through farms and fields in the torrential rain. Although, come to think of it, it wasn't so bad. I saw trees, cows, sheep, horses, rabbits, and magpies, and felt amazing after a hot shower and some reviving porridge. Memo: get some seriously waterproof clothes and boots.

The keep-fit classes, when you are dying on your feet, are an effort. But you don't get results without an effort and I learned to embrace the rigour of it.

The name... Slimmeria? (But it does what it says on the tin!)

Who do you think would like it?

Anybody who is prepared to go through a bit of pain to feel so much better at the end. Galia has a regularly returning mix of Russian, Chinese, and Swiss clients as well as professionals from the IT, corporate and banking sectors (rich folk!). But her list goes right through to artists, musicians, models, athletes and even the odd Saudi prince.

Why did you give the spa this rating?

We gave Slimmeria 5 bubbles because it's just lovely to be there in every way. Slimmeria is calm, comfortable, pampering, and gracious, and has a really good vibe. I felt my head, as well as my body, had been given a good clean-out and a spiritual re-awakening. There is a positive can-do energy about the place -- from Galia and her staff, really -- which is inspiring and urges you on.