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The Porchester Spa, Queensway - 3 bubbles
The Porchester Spa offers West Londoners an affordable way to spa. With a selection of traditional, invigorating treatments at a great price and space for groups to socialise, it's a perfect spot for catching up with friends. Being part of a council leisure centre complex The Porchester Spa isn't a glamorous, high-end destination, but its friendly atmosphere makes guests feel welcome. Just don't expect 5-star service and state-of-the-art fittings and you'll have an enjoyable time.
First impressions?
How did they welcome you?
What happens next?
Which treatments did you have?
What were the treatments like?
How did you feel afterwards?
What happens afterwards?
Long-term effects
Was it worth it?
What else could you have?
What do you wish you'd known before you went?
Any special features?
Who do you think would like it?
Why did you give the spa this rating?
Would you go again?
First impressions?
The Porchester Centre is a public leisure centre. The outside of the Grade II listed building is adorned with typical leisure centre posters, encouraging local residents to sign up, and promoting swimming and gym facilities. Although The Porchester Spa has its own entrance around the corner, the two facilities share a swimming pool.
How did they welcome you?
The reception area was busy with guests heading to the swimming pool and gym. I had arranged to meet the centre manager, so the receptionist showed me where I could sit and wait for him. I was impressed by the Art Deco architecture, particularly the very high ceilings, but it was not a luxurious waiting area. I sat and waited as West Londoners filled out application forms for gym memberships around me. Finally, someone from the leisure centre came to take me down to the spa itself, apologising because the centre manager was detained in a meeting...
What happens next?
You enter the spa through another reception area, panelled in dark wood. The reception reminded me of being in a bank, or a school office -- the staff sit in their own cubicle behind a window, which all feels quite formal.
On entering the spa itself I was surprised. The combined changing area/cafe/relaxation area is vast and beautiful on first impression. I really felt like I was in a traditional old-fashioned spa. When I looked a little closer, the not-so-impressive features became apparent: green plastic garden furniture, metal lockers you need coins for, and tiny changing cubicles in one corner of the room.
I read other reviews of The Porchester Spa before I was invited to visit. Opinion varied wildly, from "the best spa ever, I love it" to "yuck, we left straight away." I think disappointment could be avoided if people go forearmed with the knowledge that this is not a luxury spa.
I quickly got a sense of The Porchester Spa as a place for regulars. Whilst the spa receptionist greeted me, a completely naked lady strolled up, and asked the spa receptionist (by name) if she could borrow some scissors. And then went on to tell the spa receptionist precisely which drawer in the desk the scissors were in. That's what I call familiar!
Not feeling quite as confident as some of the regulars, I changed into my bikini and (spa-provided) sarong. I did this in a tiny cubicle in one corner of the main spa room, though it was a bit of a squeeze and reminded me of changing for P.E. at school.
You get to the swimming pool through one of the doors leading off the main relaxation area. The swimming pool is public and shared with The Porchester Centre. So, if you're at the spa on "ladies day", don’t be surprised to find (shock, horror,) men swimming in the pool. The pool is a bit tired looking and slightly grubby. In short, it is a public swimming pool, complete with lanes, and you should manage your expectations as such.
After going for a brief swim, I headed downstairs, bypassing the cold plunge pool, to try out the various heat facilities. In the basement, there are two Russian steam rooms, three Turkish hot rooms, and a sauna cabin. I dutifully tried the lot, before settling into one of the steam rooms where I waited to be called for my treatment.
Like the rest of the spa, the steam rooms are far from luxurious. Plastic flaps, à la butchers shop, cover the entrances. A light was broken. Moving between the various hot rooms, there are "CAUTION SLIPPERY FLOOR" health and safety stands, and pieces of tubing. But, again, there is a real sense of community in the place. Regular visitors sit around catching up, and all are welcoming and friendly.
Which treatments did you have?
I had a coffee scrub (30 minutes, £25).
What were the treatments like?
My therapist came to greet me in the steam room and took me through to the scrub room. The scrub room had two treatment beds -- marble slabs -- and if you are having a scrub, you should be prepared to share the room with someone else.
I took off my bikini (no paper knickers for modesty here) and lay on the slab. Just as my treatment was getting underway, another therapist and spa-goer came in. My neighbour was obviously another regular, and they spent the duration of the treatment catching up on each other's news. It spoilt my treatment a little. I kept getting distracted by tales of holidays and nightmare bus journeys.
Distractions and lack of privacy aside, the treatment itself was fantastic for the price. The scrub smelt lovely, and my therapist made sure I was scrubbed from head to toe before showering me off and rubbing oil into my skin to moisturise.
How did you feel afterwards?
Scrubbed clean and moisturised.
What happens afterwards?
I sat in one of the Turkish hot rooms (again, full of regulars chatting) for fifteen minutes before heading back upstairs to get dressed and get some lunch.
I sat at a green plastic picnic-table in one corner of the central room and perused the A4 print-out menu. It's a little strange, features "spud u like", and once you have chosen your meal (Greek salad for me) - you have to go to the kitchen yourself to order it. I found this very unusual, accustomed as I am to such luxuries as waitress service. Weirder still was being called back out to the kitchen to collect my salad once it was ready. I struggled to my table, laden with my plates of food and a can of Coke (I wanted Diet Coke. There was no Diet Coke.) The food was a bit of a let-down: one very heavily dressed salad, and a side plate of completely plain wholemeal toast.
Long-term effects
My skin was much smoother for a few days. At that price, you could afford to top-up on a regular basis!
Was it worth it?
Absolutely. The Porchester Spa does not have fluffy robes and slippers, complimentary drinks, spa shower gels, or sumptuous relaxation areas. It is not immaculate, and the "cafe" is in fact a strange corner of the spa where you have to serve yourself. But it is fantastic value for money.
What else could you have?
All sorts of traditional treatments. There are wet shaves for men, massage using steaming hot towels and a simple scrub using a Moroccan mitt. The "shmeise" sounds interesting -- a traditional Jewish steam room therapy starting with a chair massage while your legs and feet soak in a huge tub of hot salts. This is followed with a massage with a soft, soapy, raffia besom -- a kind of broom!
There is a range of detoxifying scrubs and wraps, using brown sugar, sea salt, algae or Dead Sea mud. You can try a Thai herbal compress massage or a massage using hot stones. Facials, manicures, pedicures and waxing are available and everything is affordable, too.
What do you wish you'd known before you went?
To bring my flip-flops. And some change for the locker.
Any special features?
There are lots of original Art Deco features left intact in this English Heritage Grade II listed building.
Who do you think would like it?
Locals who are after a no-frills, no-nonsense, good quality treatment.
Why did you give the spa this rating?
We gave The Porchester Spa 3 bubbles, for the quality of the treatment and the excellent value for money.
Would you go again?
If I lived locally, I might join the leisure centre and pop into the spa for a scrub, after a swim. It's clear from the atmosphere that people do go again, and again, and after talking to some of the guests I gathered that many of them visit on a weekly basis.
We visited The Porchester Spa in August 2010
See also:
* Contact details for The Porchester Spa
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