Review of Illuminata Spa, Mayfair

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Illuminata, Mayfair - 4 bubbles

One moment you're walking along South Audley Street minding your own business and admiring the fine-art establishments. The next, you're sitting in a private Roman steam bath, glistening with oil and taking deep breaths of jasmine. How did that happen? That's the magic of Illuminata.

First impressions?

How did they welcome you?

What happens next?

Which treatments did you have?

What were the treatments like?

How did you feel afterwards?

What happens afterwards?

Was it worth it?

What else could you have?

What do you wish you'd known before you went?

Any special features?

Who do you think would like it?

Why did you give the spa this rating?

Would you go again?

First impressions?

Illuminata presents to the world as a shop-front on a corner in Mayfair. There are two bay trees either side of the entrance, and a smart doorway. Push open the door and you go through into a large, light room with products on shelves all around the walls: very much a retail environment. Towards the back of the room is a wood reception desk, and behind the desk, on the wall, are murals of Roman maidens. A hint of things to come.

How did they welcome you?

Valeria, my therapist, came through to meet me and said she would be looking after me that afternoon.

What happens next?

Valeria took me through some extremely tall silver doors at the back of the room and into a small area with a beige marble floor, some magazines, and a couple of stripey chairs at the foot of a marble staircase. All very grand. She left me alone for a few minutes while I filled in my health consultation form. I indicated that my main area of concern was my jawline and chin, just because it was. Once the form was done, Valeria took me up the stairs one floor to the treatment room. There are eight treatments rooms at Illuminata, some up and some downstairs.

Which treatments did you have?

I had the Jasmine Steam (£55 for 45 minutes) and the Decleor Aromaplastie facial (£90 for 1 hour).

What were the treatments like?

The Jasmine steam: In the treatment room, Valeria asked me to take everything off. There was a small wardrobe where you could hang your clothes (and a small safe, in case you had brought the family jewels). Valeria asked me to don a robe, slippers, and some disposable knickers, and asked me if I wanted a shower hat. Oh, why not? I was rather hazy as to when a shower might become part of the proceedings. I liked the robe as it was waffle, nice and light, and not heavy like those towelling robes which sometimes swamp me, what with me being so short. I asked for some water before we started, as I had had a train journey and was thirsty.

Once I was suitably arrayed, Valeria took me downstairs again, further down into the basement, where I began to get a sense of the size of Illuminata. There was a sort of hall, with the same beige marble flooring as upstairs, and a doorway through to the steam rooms. The whole spa is styled to be very Roman in feel, with stone lions in the wall with water trickling through their mouths and an inlaid mosaic tiled floor. There are two steam rooms, one eucalyptus ("Good for your breathing and for sinuses," said Valeria) and one jasmine (not sure what this is good for).

Valeria opened the door to the steam room, took my robe from me and ushered me in. She began the treatment with my back, and covered it in a salt and oil mix from a bowl she had prepared earlier. I asked what the oils were and they were quite a range, avocado, neroli, lavender... All very sweet-smelling.

Once my back, shoulders and the back of my legs were covered in salt and oil, I turned round and Valeria asked if she should do the same to my front or whether I wanted to do it myself. I was happy for her to do it. Once I was fully anointed with salt and oil, Valeria told me she would now turn the steam on and close the door, but would pop back after five minutes to make sure I was alright.

Only then did I get a proper sense of the steam room. It wasn't huge but it did feel opulent. It was all tiled in dark blue, with two seats like small thrones and a central pedestal which I couldn't really fathom the purpose of but it incorporated more lions. There was a shower fitting next to each seat so that you could douse yourself with cold water to cool down. I leant back in my blue-tiled seat, which went back quite a long way, and relaxed while the jasmine-scented steam gradually made the lions disappear in the mist.

As promised, Valeria came to check that I was okay after five minutes, which I was. In fact, I was so okay that when she knocked again and asked whether I wanted to come out or stay for five minutes longer, I elected to stay. The steam was hot (I did the use the shower to cool myself down), the jasmine scent pleasant, and my muscles were relaxing nicely in the heat. Besides, how often do I get to loll around like a Roman matron in a private steam room?

When I was deemed fully steamed, Valeria came back, opened the door, artfully held up a towel, and expertly shepherded me straight from steam room to the shower next door. She had already started the water running, so it had reached a warm temperature. I used the provided Decleor shower gel to wash all the oil off. I felt very smooth and extremely clean. Valeria waited discreetly round the corner while I retrieved the towel from the hook where she had left it. I dried, put on my robe again, and we went back upstairs to the treatment room for the facial.

Decleor Aromaplastie facial: Once we were back in the treatment room, Valeria asked me to lie face down on the treatment table. "But take your robe off first," she reminded me. I remembered. I placed myself face-down on the treatment table as instructed. I was happy to snuggle under a duvet but was disappointed to find there was no face-holder. Just a bed, which meant you either had to turn your head far to the right or left and put your neck out, or go for face down and suffocate. I went for head to the right. Head to the right was all very well, but the Decleor facial actually began with a back and shoulder massage. This is a lovely idea but I didn't feel I was getting its best benefits with my head skewed so far at an angle.

Valeria's massage was spot on. It focused on some areas of tension in my shoulders and I only wished I were aligned for the massage to get its best benefits. The facial continued when I turned on to my front. Valeria adjusted the bed. Vrmm, vrmm, vrmm, what is happening here? Oh, I'm being electronically aligned into a comfortable position (and it really was comfortable) with my knees supported. A bit unnerving but fab. Valeria placed a lavender pillow over my eyes while she inspected my face and declared that she would focus on my "dryness and sensitivity". (What about my jawline, as mentioned on my consultation form?)

There followed lots of cleansers, including an exfoliating mask that Valeria smudged off, a second mask that was heavy with flannels, and all the time the unguents were doing their good work, Valeria massaged my legs, then arms, then finally my scalp. I drifted away to the sounds of a harp.

The treatment finished with a warm flannel over my feet. Which is a nice way of letting you know the treatment has ended and waking you up!

How did you feel afterwards?

Very clean and smooth all over.

What happens afterwards?

Valeria asked me if I would like a drink and I asked for some herbal tea. I got dressed (remembering I had no family jewels) and departed the treatment room. When I got outside, Valeria was waiting with the non-specified herbal tea in a cup. She took me down the stairs to the main reception area and asked if I would like to drink my tea in the window area. As I looked like the Wreck of the Hesperus after all that steam had got at my hair, I didn't think so. Luckily, Valeria, perhaps after taking a more searching look at me, seemed to concur that I wasn't an ideal advertisement for the restorative powers of the spa's services, and took me down to the relaxation room in the basement. This stretches the Roman theme slightly, as it has palm trees painted on the walls. There are four loungers here, quite comfortable, and the same piano and harp music as we'd had in the treatment room. There was no water, or way of making yourself another tea, or, indeed, anything to read, so I communed with my tea for a while, then put my coat on to go.

Was it worth it?

I'm not sure the steam on its own would be worth it, at £55 for 45 minutes, but combine it with another treatment and you'll get more benefit out of what Illuminata has to offer.

What else could you have?

A selection of Decleor and Carita facials and massages (including my favourite ever, the Carita Pro-Lift Facial). Manicures and pedicures. But Illuminata's treatments have some imaginative twists, too. How about a session where you lie on a vibrating bed, they play some soothing music and a therapist massages your head? Or what about a steam in the eucalyptus room followed by a Perfect Bust? Illuminata do a variety of packages, for couples, for friends and for the self-indulgent. Personally, I am holding out for their Goddess package where you get a Jasmine Steam & Purifying Spicy Earth Salts Treatment, a massage, facial, pedicure and the tactile sound therapy (vibrating bed) altogether lasting for 4 hours and 15 minutes of treatment time. Mind you, for £370, I'd almost expect to emerge with supernatural powers.

What do you wish you'd known before you went?

That I wouldn't need my own swimming costume or flip-flops for the steam experience, which I had dutifully carted along with me.

Any special features?

The personal steam rooms are quite something. Especially in the middle of Mayfair. And coming in from a busy London street and instantly being transported into a grand and lavish Roman-style spa is pretty special, too.

Who do you think would like it?

Mayfair mavens. Couples, friends, and mums and daughters for some relaxing pampering. Anyone who's had a stressful day applying for a visa at the American Embassy just round the corner and needs a good relax.

Why did you give the spa this rating?

We gave Illuminata 4 bubbles because it delivers some excellent and original treatments in a classy, upmarket setting. It was a little short on touches that kept it from a true 5-bubble experience. For example, you should be welcomed with a drink, not have to ask for one; and a relaxation room with just some loungers and nothing else is a little on the Spartan side. As there are no pools to loll about by, you need to make the most of your me-time by relaxing before getting ready to face the outside world again. The spa experience just needs softening at the edges a little.

See more on how we rate the spas.

Would you go again?

Yes. To try the eucalyptus steam room and the vibrating bed.

We visited Illuminata in July 2008